The Anxious Book Worm

Hello my lovely bookish friends,

Today’s post is a little break from reviews and ratings and plot twists that make me accuse everyone except the actual murderer. This one is more of a life lately check in. No star ratings required.

Since the New Year, I’ve been trying a few new things. Not in a new year new me, green juice and toxic positivity way. More in a quiet, something has to shift because life has felt heavy kind of way. Since losing Millie, the days have felt harder to carry and I realised I was sort of just getting through them rather than living them. So I decided to gently change my routine and see if that helped.

Enter my new mornings.

I now wake up to a sunrise lamp which gently pretends I am waking up naturally instead of being dragged out of sleep like a Victorian child heading to the factories. Five minutes later, my phone alarm goes off in a completely different room, meaning I have no choice but to physically get out of bed to turn it off. Thank you Mel Robbins and The 5 Second Rule for that delightful bit of tough love.

Once I’m up, I come back to make the bed because apparently this is who I am now. I put on my warm, fuzzy dressing gown and head downstairs to put the kettle on because some habits are sacred. The important part comes next. I do not touch my phone. Not even a little peek. Instead, I sit with my Kindle for at least an hour and read. No doom scrolling, no emails, just me and fictional problems which are much easier to deal with than real ones.

After that, I head upstairs and do my journal writing for the day. Some days it is deep thoughts and feelings. Other days it is a to do list and a rant about something annoying. Both are valid. Then I respond to any messages and get ready for work, whether that means leaving the house or wandering five steps to my desk at home.

When the work day is done, I try to get some bits done around the house, maybe a bit of washing, maybe a walk to get some steps in. Nothing extreme, just enough to feel like I’ve moved my body and achieved something that is not replying to emails.

Evenings are for winding down. After tea, we usually watch an episode of something or a bit of YouTube and then I retreat into my Nintendo Switch. I started gaming again a few months ago when things felt particularly wobbly and it has been such a good distraction. I am currently deep into Hogwarts Legacy and I am not exaggerating when I say I am fully addicted. If I disappear for a while, assume I am somewhere near Hogsmeade.

Bedtime is another non negotiable now. We aim to be in bed before 10pm, usually between 9.30 and 10, with no phones or TV right before sleep. Just reading. Proper, cosy, end of day reading. Another rule we’ve added is no caffeine after 2pm which felt dramatic at first but we’re about 13 days in and the difference in sleep has been huge. I fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer and feel slightly more human in the mornings.

Is it perfect? Absolutely not. Some days are still hard. Some nights my brain refuses to be quiet. But I’m learning that things do not have to be perfect to be better, and that is something I am still working on.

Normal reviews will be resuming shortly, complete with opinions, stars and probably at least one dramatic gasp. Thank you for being here and for reading my ramblings. It really does mean a lot.

Speak soon,
The Anxious Bookworm x